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parikalpana
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Posted on 12-11-07 7:50
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जब जब तिम्रो याद आउँछ चांदनी रातमा ज्वाला बनेर आउँछ आंखामा स्वप्ना भिजेर आउँछ मनमा घाउ बिझेर आउंछ ।
एकान्तमा तिम्रो तस्वीर सिरानीमा लुकेर आउँछ तिमी छैनौ त के भो केही त राहत आउँछ स्मृतिमा तिम्रो याद बटुवा बनेर आउँछ जब जब तिम्रो याद आउँछ चांदनी रातमा ज्वाला बनेर आउँछ ।
विवशतासँगै तिम्रो याद चाहना बनेर आउँछ आवाज बिना तिम्रो याद मौन गाएर आउँछ स्पर्श तिम्रो कुनै बेला तृष्णा बनेर आउँछ जब जब तिम्रो याद आउँछ चांदनी रातमा ज्वाला बनेर आउँछ ।
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waka
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Posted on 12-24-07 6:43
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pjna007
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Posted on 12-24-07 7:05
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nice poem parikalpanaji !
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Nepal ko chora
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Posted on 12-24-07 7:48
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लेखाइ त भाबपुर्ण छ। तर सबै पंक्ती "आउँछ" मा टुङ्ग्याको चाइ अलि कस्तो कस्तो लाग्यो। शब्दहरु अलि फरक पारे अझ राम्रो सुनिने थियो कि? जस्तै.. "जब जब तिम्रो याद आउँछ चांदनी रातमा ज्वाला बनेर आउँछ आंखामा स्वप्ना भिजेर आउँछ मनमा घाउ बिझेर आउंछ । "
लाइ
"जब जब तिम्रो याद आउँछ चांदनी रातमा ज्वाला बनेर छाउँछ आंखामा स्वप्ना बनेर बिझाउँछ मनका घाउ चसक्क चस्काउँछ ।"
पार्दा कसो होला?
Last edited: 24-Dec-07 07:48 PM
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kalejo
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Posted on 12-24-07 7:57
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parikalpana ji--very nice poem, man nai chasakka bhayo
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parikalpana
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Posted on 12-25-07 1:04
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kalajo ji, , pjna007 ji, waka ji,
Thanks,
Nepal ko chhora ji, thank u for ur advice.
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dipika02
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Posted on 12-25-07 3:45
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parikalpana jyu, nice poem.
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