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 scared to drive in roads where there is traffic and it's killing my future opportunities
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Posted on 06-11-22 12:59 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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I can't drive. I can drive actually but not in traffic. When I learnt to drive, I was introduced (myself) to risky situations(I did the mistake of learning to drive on my own 2 wheelers btw). When vehicles come near to me, that trembles me, and I feel I might go and touch those vehicles with my 2 wheeler. The fear is not only for 2 wheeler, it is for traffic in general. :(

I know this will kill many chances of mine to get a job in nepal. i am at kathmandu but if i want to easily get jobs, i should learn to drive. 2 choti gadi chadera jana bhayune kura hudaina, farkida ni ghar ta pugna paryo. dinko 500 rupees tirera pathao chalaune kura ni bhaena..:(

and aba usa tira lagum bhane ni driving ta garna jannai paryo. so those doors are closed as well(but i couldn't give a fuss about it haha joke garya the grapes that i can't get must be sour lol)

arey bhai..but even tho all of this, i had made peace with myself and this shit that i can't drive. i was content with myself. when i saw anyone younger than me in scooter, it would make me jealous. in the past, it would extremely make me jealous but now little bit less. when i see anyone of my age doing it, it made me feel shame, now bit less. but mamaghar gako ekdin.
mama le "internship kina nagarne" bhanne topicx ma kura bhairathyo. mero backs xa engineering ma sth that requires me good full time studying(sabai self study garnu parne xa, testo youtube ma video sideo kei xaina, google ma articles ni xaina so extremely tough xa.). maile bhaney. "malai drive garna aunna, jada ra auda ra kaam garda 12 ghanta hawa ma janxa mero ani ghar ayera sutne kaam matra hunxa".
mama, after i said this, after 20 min,came up with an advice to me..:( it hurt me. he told me to not tell anyone that you don't know hot to drive and instead tell them that you will drive 4 wheelers afterwards haha. i explained him how i was scared of driving due to past experiences. the conversation ended with me telling "bahira jane ho bhane ta driving nagari kamai xaina". haha.

malai yo problem ko solution kei xahiya xaina coz i know the solution go and drive and don't love your life. be ready to get killed anyday anytime. yetikai nepali didi bhai daju baini harulai share garam bhanera(nepal or us ma rahanubhaeka).
 
Posted on 06-11-22 3:16 PM     [Snapshot: 46]     Reply [Subscribe]
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have you tried driving simulator devices like Thrustmaster? That may help. Many Nepalese especially females whom I have seen start learning to drive by not enjoying the "driving" part of it and taking it as a "job". They feel like it's some kind of pressure that they have to learn whether or not they like it or not.

 
Posted on 06-11-22 6:10 PM     [Snapshot: 101]     Reply [Subscribe]
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I do not have any solid advice, but is it too late for you to switch to a career that does not require driving? Like working from home? Tootle and Pathao are not too expensive for occasional trips. In Nepal, ownership of car is extremely costly and motorcycle too is expensive if you can manage with Tootle.

I am a good driver with long experience currently working outside Nepal. Although I am very confident, I really hate driving even with autonomous cars these days.
 
Posted on 06-12-22 9:32 PM     [Snapshot: 295]     Reply [Subscribe]
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What about bicycle? You can probably ride them on the side of the roads.
 
Posted on 06-13-22 10:13 AM     [Snapshot: 401]     Reply [Subscribe]
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My message inbox is open for you. I share a ditto/similar issue. Please do message me when you can. I am also stuck in the same phase maybe we can join the same driving class.
 
Posted on 06-13-22 4:46 PM     [Snapshot: 473]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Well, try to make short accomplishment or milestone; With a lot of traffic I can imagine how complicated driving would be in Nepal but try taking one step at a time. Start with small accomplishment and slowly getting used to roads, traffic, laws and so on. You can may be start or practice whenever there are less traffic and go from there. May be get used to local roads and then step into busy roads. all the best!
 
Posted on 06-13-22 11:45 PM     [Snapshot: 538]     Reply [Subscribe]
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3 ways to handle this

1. Keep practice driving in roads with less traffic, the fear will slowly subside as you drive more
2. If driving is out of the question, consider moving to a place near your work place, not only will you save money and time; you will also protect your life from accident
3. If you end up going overseas, find job in big cities where driving is not required (you may use train, commuter van - usually cheap or even get a place near where your work is !!)
 
Posted on 06-14-22 12:30 AM     [Snapshot: 544]     Reply [Subscribe]
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I had the similar fear when I was learning driving for the first time. I wished I had learnt driving early in my life. Something in life, it is easier and better if you learn early such as swimming or skating, because when you grow older, your brain becomes rock solid with the stories and experiences it absorbs, stubborn to not change.

Well, I overcame my fear of all sorts and let me tell you something that worked for me in my case were:

# Since one of my relatives and the driving instructor were involved in teaching me and they were constantly yelling and screaming at my driving skills that I made it a pact to show to them that I can drive and I will drive. I kept my pact and showed them really well at the end!
# I watched so many self learning videos on YouTube at home, on my phone whenever I found time. I learnt how to overcome the fear by constantly thinking about the solutions and not the problem that was there.
# I agree there is a phobia for some people about driving and some even go to doctor to get medical help, some try music, some try baby steps etc. What worked for me was I did not run away from my problem, but kept working on the solutions like I would call my cousin to take me to the parking lots of Super market at 11 PM in the night so that we can practice there in peace. Start with making simple straight driving and then move to making turns and then making reverse. Parallel parking, three point turn everything. Well I still get nervous parking my car between two already parked cars but that has not deterred me from driving. Now if I ever visit those parking lots where I practiced, I give a smile.
# I kept saying to myself "ईख बिनाको मान्छे र बिख बिनाको सर्प काम लाग्दैन। " so much so that now I do not get scared getting behind the wheels at all. I practiced a lot with somebody in the car for many days doing back and forth to work and home until one day I was the only one in the car amidst busy traffic driving. That day I felt so much independent and confident that I was the happiest in the world!!

But if you ask me about driving in the traffics of Nepal, I do not recommend anybody to drive in the chaos that is here. People do not follow rules here. It is like "जसको शक्ति, उसको भक्ति। " in this place. The motor cycles, scooters, the cars, the tippers all are in a rush, they do not care about their fellow drivers, the constant honking, the angry glares man! I do not even want to think about driving here! But if you can drive in this place, I will admire your guts! For somebody who learns driving in Nepal first and then going to place like US and drive, it will be a piece of cake, that's for sure. It was the opposite in my case as I learnt it there first but here I dread to even take the car to traffics in Nepal.

I am okay with not driving here. Thank you but no thank you!
Last edited: 14-Jun-22 12:36 AM

 
Posted on 06-14-22 11:51 AM     [Snapshot: 640]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Are you talking about Nepal or somewhere else ? The scariest driving is big cities in Asian Countries. In Kathmandu many cyclist become pita bread being in between two trucks. If you have driven any thing in Kathmandu, you should not be fear of anything where people follow driving rules and regulation. \
Think all drivers follow rules and no one hit you, it is not Kathamandu. It is better than Kathmandu, I can do it.

 


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