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Rekab Brown
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 Marrying a foreigner

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Posted on 08-23-15 1:12 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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I'm not sure if this is the correct place to put this...
And I know you are going to judge me up and down, but I am desperate for advice.
I know many will disapprove of this,and probably look down on me, but I still need help.

Does anyone know someone who married an American/Australian/Canandian/non-Nepali?
Or is there anyone on here who has married a non-Nepali?
If so please contact me. I am in a situation where I am desperate for advice and help. I do not know anyone in my circle who has been in these circumstances and I need to talk to someone who understands. Please message me on my Facebook if you would be willing to help...
 
Posted on 08-24-15 11:26 AM     [Snapshot: 1256]     Reply [Subscribe]
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If you are not clear about yourself and you can not stand on outcomes / hurdle then our advise will not work.

You can not put legs on two boats same time, chose one boat.
 
Posted on 08-24-15 12:02 PM     [Snapshot: 1274]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Rekah_Brown

Reading your posts, it sounds like you Boyfriend is a lucky. I would not give up beef for no one and I don't think its your job to convince them.

First find out what kind of family are they , religious-nonreligious , level of education , where are they from (city / non-city) etc.

Anyways here is my take on it : take it with a grain of salt as I'm coming off from a perspective if how someone would convince my Mom and Dad :).

- If they are religious, go buy some Saree and learn how to do puja. Puja. If you meet them, remember you have to bow down and say Masters. Always cover you head with the saree shit.
- Act shy and very respectful in-front of them.
- Goat , Goat , Goat -- Lear how to cook goat :)
- Eat a piece of Serrano peppers every morning with coffee so you will get used to the spice level.
- If you don't know how to whip some badass chia(tea) , you are out of luck. so learn it.
- Start watching some Indian soap opera -- This will help you make conversation with mother and her friends.
- And remember to tell them you know that Buddha was born in Nepal and not India. :)
- If you tell them you hate Indians that will help too.




 
Posted on 08-24-15 1:58 PM     [Snapshot: 1378]     Reply [Subscribe]
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There is no straight answer to this, imo. Your BF needs to have the cojones to make some kind of decision here. Whether he wants to marry you without telling his parents or not. I dont think his parents will be receptive to the idea but i am sure they will gradually come along.
I did it without telling my parents, and i am sure my mother was hurt a bit in the beginning but later on they accepted my decision. But my relation did not work out because of religious reasons and we had to go different ways.
She was not very religious but since one of her parent was a preacher she had some kind of roots in the subject. I even went to the church in the beginning couple of times, just out of curiosity, mind you, i would never change my religion for any one or any reason. I am not very religious but i believe in my faith strongly. Then we got married, both of us were going to college and she changed her major out of no where to Religious Studies and decided to become minister at a church like one of her parent. This took me by surprise and i was fine and it was ok for a while and she never forced me her religion neither did i force mine on her.
But this had immense repercussions on my schedule as i had to help her in her project and accompany her to various functions and venues which i could not shoulder any more. And that was that.
In my retrospect this subject in not a cut and dry situation like many believe. Later on i backed off another potential relationship where the person i was talking for few weeks was pretty religious. She would travel to different states for prayers and conventions and i was like WTF. I am not saying i would not go outside of my culture or religion in finding my partner but i would not be seeking devout religious individual.
But this should not discourage you at all. Hey you never know until you commit. Best of Luck.
 
Nepalimannaparaunemanche
Posted on 08-24-15 6:50 PM     [Snapshot: 1558]     Reply [Subscribe]
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u can't handle them thats all. Nepalis are like very controlling and always invading privacy so they gona leave u in a year or two unless you are submissive. Only those Nepali girls who are submissive marries a white guy. If u are not raised and born here it's very difficult to get along. I have divorced 2 times with white woman.
 
Posted on 08-24-15 8:11 PM     [Snapshot: 1627]     Reply [Subscribe]
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I don't know what the context here is but just glancing at the topic, here is my verdict.
"If you are a westerner, don't marry a non-westerner" and "if you are a non-westerner, don't marry a westerner"
All those hookups or marriages are momentary. These marriages fail miserably after a decade or two. I've witnessed that not once but many times and vowed myself not to be in such karmic whirl, it simply is not worth your time. I've seen non-westerners husbands getting either kicked out of the house or non-westerner wives eloping with someone else. Just one of the worst nightmares you could imagine in any relationships, but I must say again, it simply is not worth spending your time and energy on hooking up with someone who knows nothing about your culture. Higher chance of these relationships not working is more prevalent than succeeding.
Anyway, it's your life, do whatever your gut feeling says. We are just words on internet and usually I don't spend time replying to someone's thread unless it is necessary.
 
Posted on 08-24-15 8:39 PM     [Snapshot: 1665]     Reply [Subscribe]
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I can't blame someone who had a bad experience because I would feel the exact same way if I was in your situation. Yes, many Western women do not like guys to be bossy.
I also don't blame people for thinking about the divorce rate, sometimes I even discriminate against my own kind(If I think of myself with an American man for example sometimes I fear he will divorce or something silly like that) My family is not normal as far as Americans go. My grandparents have been together 60 years, my parents have been married 28 years and only to each other. Both my aunts were cheated on ,but neither one left their husbands for divorce.
I think people should be judged as an individual and not as a stereotype.
If you talk in general then yes some things are true, just like some things are true about Nepalis,but the fact is you have to consider the individual, especially in the US where we a mixture of different cultures.
I agree with you bittertruth if it is a romance that started as a hookup it is not a good idea, people who engage in hookups are not the kinds who want to be committed and the basis of the relationship will be something very superficial.
In my case as I stated I am celibate, and my boyfriend and I fell for one another because of our common interests and the fact that we shared common morals. I cannot tell you how hard it is to find a guy in this country who actually values marriage and does not do drugs. Of course there exists good American men who are marriage minded and clean,but it is very hard to find as so so many just smoke weed and think marriage is a "trap".
I've never been someone to play around. To be honest with you all one thing I absolutely hate about my culture is the hookup culture. I think it is gross, indecent and it has given anyone who is an American the issue of dealing with this stupid stereotype. Try to imagine how frustrating it is for someone like me to have to deal with people thinking that because I'm white that I'm slutty when I have never even been with a man! It is even seen as weird here because of my age too. That is why when I first posted here I said I knew I would be judged. I know. I know what you think of Americans, and frankly I cannot blame you because if I were to try to deny that many Americans are  not this way I would be lying.So what I can do is ask that when you encounter or hear of an American try to get to know them personally instead of throwing a grand generalization. Because not all of us like to play around with men at bars. And yes, submissive American women do exist! Especially in the midwest and the south, women are more submissive.
Last edited: 24-Aug-15 08:41 PM

 
Nepalimannaparaunemanche
Posted on 08-24-15 9:12 PM     [Snapshot: 1703]     Reply [Subscribe]
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peter le aafno zindagi abrbad garechan to be honest
 



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