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 Survey for single guys in US : Marry a Nepali giirl or someone from here?

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Posted on 04-05-10 11:52 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Just trying to get some general feedback from the sajha.com users regarding their views on marriage.


 
Posted on 04-05-10 2:05 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Don't get married at all. it's just my opinion but i think marriage ties you up, you may seem free but you really aren't, why can't two people just live together without having to get married and get the same treatment, same legal rights as people who get married?? i choose not to marry but live with the one i love and i get discriminated based on the fact that I am not married?? Is that fair? What if I choose not to get married at all? Are we not entitled to the same rights as the couple who are married??
 
Posted on 04-05-10 3:27 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Well if you want a GC marry someone from here. If you want  girl who shares same culture like yours marry a Nepali!

 
Posted on 04-05-10 3:30 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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don't u think there are nepali US citizen women sanju baba??
 
Posted on 04-06-10 12:21 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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maile pani kali, gori, nose thepchi je jasto bhaya pani bihe garne bhane ko keti nai paina. Launa ho kasailai thaha chha bhane esso help garauna ho.
 
Posted on 04-06-10 6:03 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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CyLegend,
I don't know what you really mean. Gay marriage is legal in many states now. That means you are free to live the way you want with the person (either s/he) so choice is yours. But to continue the life and the generation to go --- I think marriage is a must which will create a strong bond. I think you can stay the way you want and you can separate the way you want on which the connection is not that strong. You can see the example of having girlfriend. If you break you can have second within a week but if you are married you can't have husband or wife within a week because society thinks differently ..... I think marriage is a better way to have a family even you are guy ...

 
Posted on 04-06-10 8:22 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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PeaceSoul your argument that Marriage is A must holds no water. how do you explain couples who have stayed together not being chained in the union called marriage?? btw i don't care about what society thinks. Are you living your life for yourself or for the sake of society?? if you live under the fear of "what society might think" then i think the foundation of marriage according to you is "you have to be married and stay married because society might think otherwise" what a load of BS. What are you basing your statement of "Marriage is stronger" on?? example of girlfriend eerr what does that prove? i think it further strengthens my argument that one has the option to move on without having to deal with legal and family pressure if they are not married. where did you get the idea that you cannot have another husband or wife within a week ending a marriage? and how does that show not marrying is weaker?? err as far as your having a family is concerned that is what i am arguing about..why do couple who do not marry don't have the same rights as couple who are married??
Last edited: 06-Apr-10 08:24 AM

 
Posted on 04-06-10 9:41 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Cylegend,

Society? here in the US?

hehe. sanchi bro? theres still places here where the 'samaj' still exists?

I thought it was only in Nepal.

I have been to a lot of places here and I dont think anyone gives a rats ass if ur married, have a girlfriend, or something else. Maybe they'll raise an eyebrow if u gay.

cheers.

 
Posted on 04-06-10 9:49 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Marry the One you love and makes you happy, Kali,Gori,nepali, American all that does not matter..
 
Posted on 04-06-10 10:06 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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well that's what i am getting to dekchi...i don't live my life to please the society. although I do agree that society is an integral part of our lives it doesn’t mean I am going to do something I don’t like just to please society. I have my own priority and will do whatever that makes ME happy.  Living a life where society controls your actions because it makes them happy is just primitive and feudal in my opinion.
 
Posted on 04-06-10 11:42 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Cylegend, you may live your life yourself but please don't get a children for yourself because you will be ruining his /her life.

Recently i saw a program that those people who live together without marriage are nothing but a trouble to country and society. Almost all the couple who didn't marry separated sooner or later. No matter how much you say you love your partner, you are not culturally and legally bound. That makes the bond weaker. 

In fact most of the children are raised by single parents because of such relationship.  The number of children raised from single parents who went on to become criminals were quite alarming compared to the children who are raised by both parents.  Particuarly in Europe the benefits that single mother gets ( as she is not married) are burden to whole taxpayers. 

Thats why even in US husband-wife relationship tends to be much much stronger than the bf-gf because there is no vow, no promise involved.  Being married also put additional responsibility to father and mother to look after their children. Very often guy tend to neglect the babies. 


People living without marriage will eventually turn country into mess. children won't even know who there father is. 

People who live together without marrying are purely cohabiting to gratify their body . But they are scared to commit themselves to marriage. This itself is a weak relationship.  or else if people love each other than why should there be any problem to marry each other. 



 
Posted on 04-06-10 12:16 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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so u are basing your thoughts on a PROGRAM you saw??? hmm very logical of you, i saw a program where these hicks saw a UFO and …… well lets not even go there…anyway as far as your argument goes i don't want to assume anything. As far as the PROGRAM you watched: What does the data take into consideration? What type of socio economic background were these people from? Regardless of whether  parents are married or single I strongly feel that a Childs upbringing is what matters the most, the values and morals that are taught is what is more important on how they react later in life. As far as children of single parents ruining an entire nation is concerned, you are too far away from the scope…I wonder if bastards are responsible for ruining Nepal, all those great leaders in Nepal who were born as a result of civil union doing are doing a great job…aren’t they??Why do people have to be legally and culturally bound to express their love?? i strongly disagree that culture and legality is a benchmark for a STRONGER bond, i definitely feel otherwise and feel that those are the factors that contribute more to weakness in a relationship. Constant fear of legal issues that one should have to go through after divorce is yet another can of worms that I do not want to open.

People in love should not have to get married to show that they are committed, there are different ways commitment can be expressed and non married couple can exhibit just as much level of commitment.


 


As far your suggestion that I don’t “GET” a child, wonder what GET means here, I humbly decline your advice. Nothing personal.


 


 
Posted on 04-06-10 1:19 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Hey people, in these kinda issue "One Size Doesn't Fit All". We are all different individually, and different things work well for different people. For some people marrige works, for some it doesn't. My suggestion: Follow your heart and do what you think will work for you.
 
Posted on 04-06-10 2:45 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Marriage helps you in the tax department, so one huge benefit right there.

 
Posted on 04-06-10 3:15 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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and thus i raise my point again....why is it that people who are not married and live together are being discriminated by the law?? what justifies that married couple are only entitled to certain rights and privileges that non married couples can't get??
 
Posted on 04-06-10 3:40 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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CyLegend, I think what you are asking for is not unreasonable. But one thing you are overlooking is that the lawswe have now were created when the ideals of the society was different. A lot of women were not working. So, when a husband took care of the wife, the tax breaks and previleges were like a perk for taking care of someone who couldn't take care of themselves financially.

Going back to the OP's question though, its all about who you are compatible with. Don't let anyone decide whats right for you.One good thing about going interracial is you will have beautiful kids most of the time.

 
Posted on 04-06-10 3:58 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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just the fact that one ceremony changes how people's lives are affected differently in terms of law, society, psychology etc is beyond my comprehension. i still view it as a discrimination based on marital status!
 
Posted on 04-06-10 5:49 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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पक्कै पनि यो जान्ठो भित्रिनी पट्टी को हुनु पर्छ ।

 
Posted on 04-06-10 11:23 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Hey Cylegend,

You have a point here which could be argued in different ways..If it were to be like what you want, the foundation of the current society would fall apart. If u are not married, u don't have a wife. If you have an offspring, he/she won't have a dad or a mom...lets say he/she does. how about his uncle aunt? and the chain continues...the whole society has been founded on the links of relationship that starts with marriage...

Regarding discrimination based on marital status..hmm...you have a point here..it is more of a legal issue i guess..law only recognizes husband,wife,son,daughter,uncle,aunt..etc....now even domestic partners..but not b.f-g.f.
But i think the moment it starts to, it becomes equivalent to marriage.Once you have a legal tie of relationship, that puts you in the record book..requires your commitment to do so..even you and your g.f now can get married without everyone having to know it..just for legal purposes to avail all that benefits you could reap out of the relationship..

Forming a society is a balancing act..when you balance, you are bound to miss something from the left and some from the right...

Just my 2 cents...



 
Posted on 04-07-10 2:58 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Hi all,
Though i am not in US but I would like to be a part of the survey :D and lend you my opinion.
My ranking of Nepali in the US about marriage -

Rank 1. Men/ Women who marry a US citizen preferably a white skin, if not a brown skin (Spanish/ Mexican) or even yellow skin (Chinese/ Japanese). They are way better than us (in most of the aspects). First rank to people who look forward for the betterment of the quality of genes of their offsprings.
Rank 2. Men/ Women marrying a Nepali already in US, may be working or studying. Ofcourse, if you can get such a spouse, you must be good because they know what are you there, whats you status like, how much you earn etc.
Rank 3. Men/ Women bringing their girlfriend/boyfriend to US to study or work, get married after some time and settle after that together with collective effort. This is in fact sweet. But life is more than sweetness.
Rank 4. Men/ Women who go to Nepal, pick a girl/boy randomly. Marry and leave after some time. Later make arrangements for her/ him to come to US. Both find hard to get along. They only get along because it is the US. These people are in my ranking are the losers.
Since they cannot meet any of the above 3 ranks because for their lesser quality, they pick people in Nepal randomly.

Come on. Criticize me. I am all ready for your swears and "disallowed string" shits.

 



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