Most of us stay in this country for many years ...but are you all planning to stay here for life ? Same hectic work schedules, submit report to manager every 2 weeks. How long will this continue ? I keep asking this question to myself and never found an answer.

We all seem to enjoy every time we visit Nepal. You don't want to think about your work when you go there and seem to enjoy time with friends/fmaily and food....but you'll be thinking fo that consulate when you go for visa re-stamping. What will happen ? Also think about that Immigration staff at the port of entry.

So, I don't know if it's easy to go back to nepal and start a career there ? I don't really want to stay here for life. I want to spend some time with my family as well. What's this all for ? Why am i doing this ? for what ? Just money !

Ahh....these question come everyday when i am at work.

Mom, Dad getting old everyday..and i am spending my time here in foreign country...Is it really worth it ?

I am on the same boat Racheeta. The only thing that is holding me back is the feeling that Wiil I be able to start all over again in Nepal. I don't know how long can I live here trapped between these feelings. Frankly speaking, I'm not happy being away from my parents.

I've heard this from many people and felt the same way too. Upon analysing the situation I've realized that as soon as we step into the plane to go to a foreign land, we put our homeland experience on pause and press play with our new found land. We experience the new land, learn about it and try to assimilate our lives while we are there.

Few years later, we come back to our homeland and find that our homeland has changed a lot. Even though our own experience of homeland was put on pause, the homeland does not pause. It keeps moving on. So what ends up happening is that we do not find the homeland to be the same homeland we left it few years ago. Subsequently we are not happy neither with the homeland nor with the foriegn land, because we seek the same homeland we left in the past.

So as soon as we step into the plane to go abroad for studies or work, we create an island of our own. We will neither be here nor there. The mind wants a continuous experience and we break that flow so there is a compulsive desire to continue where we left off, which is not possible. 

Even if we do decide to go back, it seems that we have lost of lot of connections, and it's not easy task to reconnect for all the lost years with the society. It is possible with the family but not with society. The society and the nation has moved on without you.

We are all disconnected zombies stuck within our own reality of the past.

I do not want to present problems only. What is the work around? What is the solution? The solution is acceptance. Accept that you are seeking a past that does not exist anymore. You have to move on whatever you decide is the good thing for you. And you already know what it is. That's why you are still here. 

 rethink

very analytical post. it is true that we want to go back to the same time where we left in the past but everything has changed in Nepal. friends have moved on to their own desires, gotten marries, went abroad etc. we might be able to connect some of the lost connections but the spark wont be as strong. people change and they have changed over the course of time. we want to go back to the time when we had just finished 12 class without any responsibility but time has simply moved on without us.

another problem we face is; we have been here for some time and our view, vision and expectation have changed. now we see things differently through different eyes. we will be shocked to see how things work in least developed part of the world. not that we were born in the US, but time has changed my friend.

solution to this is we have to choose one. either leave the US and be happy in Nepal with whatever money we make or live in the US with financial stability and be unhappy.

I have seen many nepalis return to nepal fo whatever reasons from the US that were US graduates. None of the returnees are unhappy and seem to do fine with whatever they are making in Nepal. Its our fear that is holding us back and not the actual event.

if you decide to return to Nepal, make sure you have some money saved up as that will help you start up. not having money in Nepal is very painful. If you want to leave, make a plan and make the jump. The longer you wait, the more dilemma you will have. The longer you stay in this wet cement, the harder it is to get out.

whatever you do, make sure you are happy with your decision. Khushi ra sukha ekai thau ma paidaina! America ma sukha chha, nepal ma khushi!

Lau dashain pani aayechha....aba yo sajha ma kati huney ho ruwabasi........

If its for the family or desire to do something back in home town then going back for good is one of the good decision of a lifetime. Although if it is for your friends and environment of the city that was in pause mode in our mind since we all came abroad, then going back for good is one of the worst decision. One other thing to keep in mind is to ask yourself what do you want to do or achieve in this lifetime? Do the same monotonous thing over and over (wasting your potential) and make others rich here or do something and contribute back home? Decisions and decisions. 

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. 

Going back is definitely not easy. And, one should not leave U.S. without analyzing in depth about life ahead in Nepal. We should also keep in mind that we were happy in Nepal during our last VISIT. Yes, during Visit! visiting for few months is different from living there for rest of the life. Remember the situation before leaving Nepal for the first time? how bad we wanted to leave the country? We had not seen future in Nepal then; but are we sure we will be better off there, now? The political and economic condition of Nepal is more worse in recent years.

Anywhere between 15-20 years now.
I will tell you this much, once you have kids, chances of you going back is going to be very very low. But I haven't given up the thought of going back.

Ditto to what other posters have to say.

These kinds of thought arises if someone is lonely and if the mind is over in Nepal and the body is here. Believe me, I have been there. Next thing for you to try is make friends and try to live like Americans do. In a way 'work hard, play hard' kind of deal. 

Remember, people are happy to do what you do..especially those who don't have decent job to go to everyday. To me, producing work is a beautiful thing. It's perfectly normal to dislike some jobs, but find something else that you will like. But one cannot dismay for having to work... I don't know if you know what it feels like not having whole lot to do. Just came back from Central America...reminded me so much of Nepal...life went SLOOOOOOOOOOOOW.

Being with family is the invaluable thing..nothing can replace that. But if you (eventually) don't have some job/business to get you going, you will be bored as hell and I can guarantee you that your aging parents will not enjoy that state of your being.

So bottom line, go out a bit more...force yourself into a dance floor, or alike, and see if you mind changes.  

Eutab4
You are running with a hypothesis that going back is bad, or that one should try to stay here in US. Why?

Having been in US most of my adult life, I am heavily intermingled in the US culture. Yet, I was born in Nepal and there is sense of belonging back home as well. There's nothing wrong with that will of wanting to go back, as much as it's not wrong to want to stay here.

Racheeta, just follow your heart. I understand it's tough to be in a foreign land for a  long time. At the end, a child finds sound sleep in his/her mother's lap. In fact, your post is an indication that you have realized that money is not everything. Different people have different priorities. Some value money, some value family, some value frnds etc etc. So, just liten to your heart and make a strong will, and do what needs to be done. Don't look backward. Your heart will never betray you. If you are tired of the predatory capitalism in America, may be you will find peace in Nepal. Focus your mind on big ideas and follow your heart. As the Upanishads says, "there is much in that little space within the heart as there is in the whole world outside. Heaven, earth, fire, sun, moon, lightening, stars; whatever is and whatever is not, everything is there."

Racheeta, I am in a same boat as you. In my opinion: 1) We should go back with a solid business plan rather than a plan to search for a job. It does not have to be big business, you can think of any small business which we see here but is a New concept for Nepal. Based on what you wrote above, you are more bored from working for other so you should for sure plan to run your own business if you plan to go back 2) Keep in touch with old friends who are in Nepal and plan to run a business with one or two close friends. It will be very easy to start and run a business if we have couple of friends who are familiar with the current system. 3) We should go back home only in a condition that you are able come back here after some time if things didn't go well in Nepal (which can happen easily). Meaning who already have GC or Citizenship should try. If things goes according to my plan, I will be back home within 2 years from now. Lets see. BANDE MATARAM!

Kiddo, 
I am not by any means saying it's sad to go back. No way...I have agreed with other poster who have already suggested the OP to evaluate both the up/down side of staying here or going back and make a decision. The OP is here...at least at some point in life, s/he had a reason to flee  the country. Of course, both societies have some ups and downs. Evaluate that. Using that 'play and pause' button analogy, it is very realistic to acknowledge that you may not find the same society you have left behind. 

I am just being very realistic. There are reasons that you keep on thinking about going back, but still here, right? We have a very genuine humane aspect of desire to be with the family, friends, and yes patriotism, and all other emotional side. But it's important not to be swayed by our emotions, because emotions change much faster than the reality. 

I have seen very happy colleagues who left behind their 'professional' jobs here and are now doing very well back home, but they had had a good base (professionally and politically) before they left Nepal and now they settled just like that. If OP has the same base, I would not think twice. But not everyone has the same 'connections' to vitalize right away. Starting from the scratch is very difficult anywhere, but worse in Nepal. 

(Disclaimer: Based on the portrayal of the OP, assumptions have been made that the OP is a career oriented person.)

It is totally understandable as most of us are in the same boat. I have spend over a decade here as well and the uncertainty lies every where in each and every step. Parents are getting old day by day and we are still struggling on daily basis to sustain and who knows the time might arrive  when it would be too late for us not being with them to enjoy the beautiful life.

But, we are also trapped here. Spending such a long time here and if we go back without making necessay arrangemnt to come back if we wanted easily is also making this journey tough.

This is really a great topic that came across on sajha today, and I found that I also fall in the same category of most of people who had posted here. I would like to reveal a small great cause here  which I am taking an initiative, I was planning to start a new thread in few days to late people know about the initiative that I am taking but first I wanted to get motivated from you guys as the posting you guys had here is really great.

Myself being here for more than a decade and the struggles, hassels that I had and still do have made me to do something for the society and the people like us. So it brought me up to the idea for launching the F1 Group. We launched this group yesterday in Los Angeles. By the way, I am Bishwo currently in H1 and working as well as on the way to complete my Master's @ California State University Los Angeles. Like you all, I also didn't get anything as granted and have worked and struggled every single day till today and still the future is uncertain.

Whole decade in US was tough, but if I can do some little good work, atleast it will give me a immense pleasure and will be satisfied with the struglling  life by taking an initiative for a good causes for students who will be going through like us.
The Group that we are forming will be providing $10,000 cash scholarship for 7-8 F1 students who are attending this Fall Semester.
It has other aims too. But for surely, $10,000 will be provided on November 2nd 2013.

We launched this group yesterday and we also have a website, f1group.org
The website will give a taste how it wil look like in few months but it has details on what it is all about. Please visit " f1group.org" and do let me know.

Definitely give me a feedback !!!

 I understand your thoughts but depends upon what kinda status you have in US. If you have GC and can go in and out all the time, you  really don't care where u live as there is no way after living in US you can go n live in Nepal forever. First the culture, you wilk feel like uncivilized seeing all those mysterious Nepali cultures and gods, second it's filthy out there, dusty narrow roads where you can't drive your car like you do in US, third you can't make the money that you make here, dollar is special I have burnt all the Rs 50 n Rs100 that I had from Nepal. It's has no value. Fourth, you can't get along with those Nepalese out there, they don't dress well, eat well, don't comb hair, no shower, trust me you don't wana hangout with those Nepalese out there, who has never been to west. Just stay here get married and make GC, there are so many gaule girls out of Kathmandu here in US who came through DV lottery, make them your wife for 3-4 yrs and kick dem out once you are on the safe side

 wow.....mr. I'm back ,,,you sound too much low class bitch...what ever other thing you said i don't care but u pin pointing on Nepalese saying those nasty words. ..dude i don't care where u living ..u 're the one who 've 3rd class mentality ...doesn't matter how clean u look u 're one low level bitch ..i think no one in sajha needs your advice btw...coz  u don't 've Brain.

Hi Racheeta,
I posted the similar discussion topic some weeks ago. I am planning to move to Nepal soon and have put forth some plans. I am also looking for few people who are willing to go to Nepal and do something meaningful there in Nepal. If you are interested, you can message me your contact and we can talk in detail. 

H2S

What's this all for ? Why am i doing this ? for what ? - I  already stopped searching for answers now. Doesn't matter where you are, what you do? Just be happy for what you have...

Rethink already answered your questions. Accept it.. Accept that the life happened. 

My best wishes for you.

 Fantush i am sorry if I have said anything wrong, it's the reality kid, i admit it and you should too

रचीता नानि ,
यी भन्ने हरु लै भन्न दिनुस , आफ्नो देश फर्किनु पर्छ. अलि कति पैसा कमौनुस अनि जानुस ..मा पनि तेइ गर्दै छु

यी गाठे हरु लै के थाहा बाउ आमा भनेको के हो.
निर्दई मोरा हरु . बाउ आमा छोडेर आका छन् , नेपाल फर्किन सकिदैन भन्छन अब .