enjoy.......... reading


The Equation:

7 Glance = 1 Smile
7 Smile = 1 Meeting
7 Meeting = 1 Kiss
7 Kisses = 1 Proposal
7 Proposal = 1 Marriage -
And that 1 marriage has 77777 problems.
So beware of glance!


Plan For Future:

Teacher asks children, what do u wish 2 do in future?
Ram: I want 2 b a pilot.
Vinod: I want 2 b a doctor.
Deepa: I want 2 b a good mother.
Ravi: I want 2 help Deepa.


Liar:
A man is dying of Cancer.
His son asked him, "Dad, why do u keep telling people u're dying of AIDS?"

Answer: "So when I'm dead no one will dare touch ur mom"


Delivered:

Sardar sent a SMS to his pregnant wife. Two seconds later a report came to
his phone and he started dancing.

The report said, "DELIVERED".


Three Feelings:

What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant, Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant,
and Panic is when both are pregnant.

A blind man vists the state of Texas:

There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, "Wow, these seats are big!" The person next to him answered, "Everything is big in Texas."

When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar. Upon arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed between his hands. He exclaimed, "Wow these mugs are big!" The bartender replied, "Everything is big in Texas."

After a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender where the bathroom was located. The bartender replied, "Second door to the right." The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally tripped over and skipped the second door. Instead, he entered the third door, which lead to the swimming pool and fell into the pool by accident.

Scared to death, the blind man started shouting, "Don't flush, don't flush!"

That was funny. ehehehehehehehehe.

Sometimes i think, sardar nabhako bhaye sansar bata 50% jokes haru kam hunthyo hola.

Just a wild guess.

Some jokes of drunker!!!

A serious drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her."

"Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!" she screamed.

"Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."


The drunk was floundering down the alley carrying a box with holes on the side. He bumped into a friend who asked, "What do you have in there, pal?"

"A mongoose."

"What for?"

"Well, you know how drunk I can get. When I get drunk I see snakes, and I'm scared to death of snakes. That's why I got this mongoose, for protection."

"But," the friend said, "you idiot! Those are imaginary snakes."

"That's okay," said the drunk, showing his friend the interior of the box, "So is the mongoose."

A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned something about his girlfriend being out in the car. The bartender, concerned because it was so cold, went to check on her. When he looked inside the car, he saw the man's friend, Dave, and his girlfriend kissing one another. The bartender shook his head and walked back inside.

He told the drunk that he thought it might be a good idea to check on his girlfriend. The fellow staggered outside to the car, saw his buddy and his girlfriend kissing, then walked back into the bar laughing.

"What's so funny?" the bartender asked.

"That stupid Dave!" the fellow chortled, "He's so drunk, he thinks he's me!"

Humour once again..............

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."

"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."

"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."


Why are sardar secret agents the best in the world? Because even under
torture they can't remember what they have been assigned to.


Santa meets Banta
Santa: "so have you moved to a new house"
Banta: "No."
Santa: "Why not? You advertised to sell your old house, didn't you?"
Banta: "Yes, but when I read the ad, I realized it was just the home I was looking for!".

Check this one.
A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks past and looks up and says to the monkey, "Hey! what are you doing?"

The monkey says, "Smoking a joint, come up and have some."

So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have a few joints. After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get adrink from the river. The lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river.

A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the lizard, "What's the matter with you?"

The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the monkey in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.

The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the jungle, finds the tree were the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint, and he looks up and says, "Hey you!"

The Monkey looks down and says, "Faaaaaaark dude.......how much water did you drink?!

One question :
Why was Saddam afrain to *u*k his wife ?


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Coz every time she said "push inside"
He heard "bush inside"

One more, for today:
Osama bin Laden has a heart attack and dies. He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.
"I don`t know what to do here," the devil says. "You`re on my list, but I have no room for you. But you definitely have to stay here, so I`ll tell you what I`m going to do: I`ve got a couple of people here who weren`t quite as bad as you. I`ll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I`ll even let YOU decide who leaves."
Osama thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil led him into the first room.
In it was Manuel Noriega and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty-handed. Over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell.
"No," bin Laden said, "I don`t think so. I`m not a good swimmer and I don`t think I could do that all day long."
So the devil led him to the next room. In it was the Ayatollah Khomeini with a sledgehammer and a huge pile of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.
"No, I`ve got this problem with my shoulder. I`d be in constant agony if all I did was break rocks all day," Laden commented.
So the devil opened a third door. In it, bin Laden saw Bill Clinton, lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs staked in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was his girl Monica, doing what she does best. Osama bin Laden stared in disbelief and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this."
The devil smiled and said, "OK, Monica, you`re free to go."

Time for fun again.....he he he

Mrs. Banta Singh was in the habit of having long conversation on the telephone, sometimes going on over an hour. One day she hung up after 25 minutes."What is the matter today? asked her husband. "Today you had less than half an hour conversation on the phone." "I got a wrong number," replied Mrs. Banta Singh.


Santa Singh and Banta singh are sitting in a bar sipping Black Label Johnny walker when Banta singh noticed a gorgeous blonde sitting by herself in a corner. As he was getting up to talk to her. Bar Tender said "Hey don't worry about her, She is lesbian! ". Banta singh "Lesbian or no lesbian, I get all of them" Then leaping forward in a very sexy voice he said "Where exactly in Lesbia, you from?"


While at the college Sardar happened to watch the notice board. It reads: Invites suggestions for the modification of Ladies Room. Sardar writes under Let the men Permit to Enter


A sardarji with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear." "Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But what happened to your other ear?" "The scoundrel called back."


a SARDAR was waiting in cinema halls ticket counter to watch the movie "closed for Winter"


A sardar is in a bar and his cellular phone rings, so he picks it up and says " Hello, how did you know I was here?"

So the devil opened a third door. In it, bin Laden saw Bill Clinton, lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs staked in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was his girl Monica, doing what she does best. Osama bin Laden stared in disbelief and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this."
The devil smiled and said, "OK, Monica, you`re free to go."
that was funny dude.....
by the way, how is bin laden coping up with bill's DK?

7 Glance = 1 Smile

huh?are pplz that greedy that they need to have 7 glance to fake one single smile?...ehe...lovi manchhe haru ko sansar.

He he he ....Sahina Logic is valid....but the other logic could be Why only 7 all around....he he he

A Sardar walks into a bar, orders three pints of "Desi Daru"and sits in the back of
the room, drinking a sip out of each one inturn. When he finishes them, he comes back
to the bar and orders three more. The bartender asks him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time." The Sardar replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other in Dubai, and I'm here in Punjab. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together." The bartender admits that this is a nice
custom, and leaves it there. The Sardar becomes a regular in the bar, and always
drinks the same way: He orders three pints and drinks them in turn. One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss." The Sardar looks confused for a moment, then a light dawns in his eye and he laughs. "Oh, no," he, says, "everyone's fine. I've just quit drinking."


There were two Sardarjis Bantya and Santya as bombers. They
had to place a time bomb in order to explode a building. So
they were going on their destination in a car. On their way
Bantya asked Santya, "Santya what will happen if the time
bomb explodes in this car itself." Santya replied
"Don't worry, I have a spare one!!!!!

"I'm going on vacation . Could you suggest a thrilling crime story ?" Santa asks to Banta. "Here this one is so suspenseful you won't be able to put it down" replies Banta. "only on the last page do you find out that the gardener did it".

A sardar walks into a bar and orders a drink..a girl comes and sits next to hoim..sardar asks..Hi, wass your name..she says Hi, my name is Dolly, but you can call me dolls...

Then the girl asks him, hey and wats your name..Sardar thinks hard and then he says, hi my name is Balbir and you can call me balls..

Time for again some jokes...he he he

Santa Singh applied for an engineering position at DEMAN CONSTRUCTION office in Amritsar. Reddy from Chennai applied for the same job and both
applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the Department manager Mr. Arvin Singh. Upon completion of the test, the results showed that both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Santa and said, "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the job to Reddy". Santa: And why would you be doing that? We both got 9 questions correct. This being Punjab I should get the job!" Manager: "We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the one question that you got wrong. "Santa: "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?" Manager: "Simple, for the question that both of you got wrong, Reddy put down 'I don't know' as the answer. And you wrote 'Neither do I'!"


Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes, if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one. He walks over the reptile, checks its legs, angrily exclaims: "71st and *again* barefoot!"

JOKESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Santa Singh was in the hospital, near death, so the family sent for his friend Banta. As Banta singh stood beside the bed, Santa Singh's frail condition grew worse, and he motioned frantically for something to write on.
Banta singh lovingly handed him a pen and piece of paper,and Santa used his
last ounce of strength to scribble a note. Then he died.Banta singh thought
it best not to look at the note just then, so he slipped it into his jacket pocket.
Several days later, at the funeral, Banta singh was visting Santa's family. He realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he'd worn the day Santa died. "You know," he said, "Santa handed me a note just before he died. I haven't read it, but
knowing Santa, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all.". He
unfolded the note and read aloud, "You're standing on my oxygen tube!"

A train suddenly deviated from the tracks and ran onto the nearby fields before returning on the tracks again. The passengers were horrified at this. At the
next railway station, the driver was caught and questioned. He was a sardar and explained that a man was standing on the tracks and he refused to budge.
The authorities asked him, "Sardarji, are you mad? Just to save one person, you put so many lives in danger. You should have overrun that person." The
sardar replied: "Exactly, that is what I was doing, but this idiot started running towards the field when the train came very close."


Why does a Sardar keep empty beer bottles in his fridge?
They're there for those who don't drink.

More jokes,
Christmas was coming near and it was time for Little Johnny to finish his holiday shopping. He went into a toy shop, took a toy plane, gave the shopkeeper fake money and started to leave.

The shopkeeper spoke up, "Excuse me little boy, this isn't real money."

Little Johnny didn't reply and continued walking.

The shopkeeper repeated himself, but Johnny kept walking.

The third time the shopkeeper called him, Johnny replied, "What?"

The shopkeeper said, "I'm sorry, young man, but this is not real money."

Johnny looked at the plane in his hands, looked at the shopkeeper and finally said, "And this isn't a real plane."

One more.
----------------------------------------------------
A three-year-old walked up to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctor's office.

He inquisitively asked the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?"

She replied, "I'm having a baby."

With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?"

She answered, "He sure is."

Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?"

She said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby."

With an even more surprised and shocked look he asked, "Then why did you eat him?"

Little naughty, don't mind.
----------------------------------------------------
"How did the accident happen?" asked the doctor.

"Well," explained Banta, "I was making love to my girlfriend on the living room rug when, all of a sudden, the chandelier came crashing down on us."

"Fortunately, you've only sustained some minor lacerations on your buttocks," the doctor said. "You're a very lucky man."

"You said it, doctor," injured Banta replied. "A minute sooner and it would have fractured my skull."

Very naughty, don't mind.

1). What is a four-letter word that ends with "ing" and means the same as intercourse?

2). What is it that a cow has four of and a woman has only two of?

3). What can you find in a man`s pants that is about six inches long, has a head on it, and that women love so much that they often blow it?

4). What word starts with f and ends with u-c-k?

5). Name five words that are each four letters long, end in u-n-t, one of which is a word for a woman?

6). What four letter word begins with f and ends with k, and if you can`t get one you can use your hands?

7). What is hard, six inches long, has two nuts, and can make a girl fat?


8). What is it that all men have one of; it`s longer on some men than on others; the pope doesn`t use his; and a man gives it to his wife after they`re married?




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[Answers]

1. (talk)
2. (legs)
3. (a twenty dollar bill)
4. (firetruck)
5. (bunt, hunt, runt, punt, aunt)
6. (fork)
7. (Almond Joy candy bar)
8. (last name)

A family somewhere in India was puzzled when the
coffin of their dead mother arrived from the U.S. It
was sent by one of the daughters. The dead body so
tightly squeezed into the coffin there was no space
left in it. When they opened the lid they found a
letter on top which read as follows:

My dear Brothers and Sisters,

I am sending our Mother's body to you since it was her
wish that she should be cremated in the Compound of
our ancestral home.

Sorry I could not come along as all my paid leaves
are consumed.

You will find inside the coffin, under Amma's body,
12 cans of cheese, 10 packets of chocolate and 8
packets of Badam. Please divide these among all of
you. On Mataji's feet you will find a new pair of
Reebok shoes (size 10 ) for Mohan. Also there are 2
pairs of shoes for Radha's and Lakshimi's sons. Hope
the sizes are correct. Mataji is wearing 6 American T-
shirts. The large size is for Mohan and the others are
for my nephews. Just distribute them amongst
yourselves.

The 2 new jeans that Mataji is wearing are for the
boys. The Swiss watch that Rema wanted is on Mataji's
left wrist. Shanta Aunty, Mataji is wearing the
necklace, earrings and ring that you asked for.
Please take them. The 6 pairs white cotton socks that
she is wearing must be divided among my teenager
nephews. Please distribute all of these uniformlyand
if anything more is required let me know since our
dear Pitaji is also not keeping well nowadays.

Your Sister

Love Aditi