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 LOVE:Unspoken

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Posted on 01-18-05 1:29 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Hey all sajhaietes,
I have written a piece from my side. Can you Please read it and comment from ur side. If u want to read more..please post it I will continue it a series...I promise with twist and turns...:-)...anyways Write comments and U may share ur writings too....No boundaries...
here is a piece from me..

LOVE: UNSPOKEN
It was Friday. I still lied there still awake...Homework to be finished. Homework never fascinated me, the only reason I did it was to escape from the punishments. Also I have to finish it now, tomorrow we were to shift apartment. With my father working as whole-timer in a Communist Party at that Panchayet era, there was frequent change of places for us and continuous change of friends. With homework finished, I went to bed? there was whole new day ahead.
Strange eyes were peering into us as we transferred our goodies into our new dwelling. We were used to it with so much of shifting places. But I still remember those hazel eyes watching me as if I were a prince from Caribbean. There was much more works to do rather than watching back to those eyes, rooms to be cleaned and set up.
She was our flat partner's daughter. We were in other words next door neighbors. I think she was 7-8 in those days, I exactly don't know, never asked. After she saw me the first thing she told her parents was that she would marry me someday. With her mother so much chit chatter, the marriage thing was now widespread all over the flat within 2 days. With myself being only 11 years at that time, I was so irked by the fact of marriage. My entire cousin soon knew about this and my marriage was gossip of the town, and I simply hated her for loving me. My cousins would tease me every time I meet them, which irritated me more.
She used to come to talk with me; I would irritate her with my gawky voice whenever she came near me. I was petrified of gossip of marriage. I would confine myself whole day in my room on holidays rather than to talk with her. She was only friend available within the community but I was rather reluctant to speak with her moreover to be friend.
It was raining that day, I was just watching the drops of rain falling on the ground, wanting to go and get wet in rain but afraid that mom would scold. I didn't notice her but next thing I knew was she was just sitting next to me.
"Rainy day, huh??" she started the conversation.
"No, a sunny one, with sunlight everywhere." I started my mission.
"Do you like to get wet on the rain??" She asked.
"But where is the rain?" same gawky voice.
"I always like to play in the rain, it is so much fun." She stood up, and walked toward the rain, without even being irritated with my replies.
"That is what I also want to do" my inner soul told to me.
Without even caring of mom's tough rebuke, I also ran toward rain. Next thing I knew was we were playing in the rain, carefree and like flower children, the children of nature. We were all wet, all covered with the mud and all dirty, but who cared when one can have so much fun. That night I was thoroughly scolded by my mom. But that day, a friendship started, not to end I thought.
 
Posted on 01-20-05 8:57 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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hehe la ta as u wish nirman nai sahii...nirman nai bhanchu hai ta...maile kahile lekhera type gardina man ma j j aunncha tyahi comp ma type garchu ...aru lai pani pokhna deu na anii bistarai ma pani post garula nii.....
anyway kina darako tyasarii ..maile ta jiskako po ta...timi ta sachikai bhaneko jastai garee hoina bhanyau...wink wink lol
tara nirman ji bhaneko belama timi banda ta kaha namileko kaha namileko jasto .....hehe ....use to huncha hola ni bistarai....
la la ramro cha aru post gara ma herchu nii.

 
Posted on 01-20-05 9:53 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Hahahahhahaha...........

Heyy sajha... anek rupp ma dekhchu jokes haru ma yaha :)

Smiling,
IndisGuise:)

P.S: ruina, in place of a guy? :-0 why? u need a hug?? :P hehehe
And no no maile kehi bhaneko chaina.. timile mero chatima lekheko diary ko sara adhyaye haru surakchit rakhchu ma :P
 
Posted on 01-20-05 10:27 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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I was here to read Nirman's post but what swept me off my feet was that an awsome piece of heart express by Ruina.......No words to express .Way to go.It is indeed hard to be away with family and frens and that last moment you seperate ....the airport every steps towards aeroplane is like crossing the ground of fire inside ur heart.Good luck and do write more.
-nivaN
 
Posted on 01-20-05 10:25 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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hey sajha.....anek rup ma dekhchu joke haru ma...............................................................>diffrent taste ni ta jahile eutaai kura le ta timilai haso uthdiana hola..:)
ruina,in place of guy?why?u need a hug?............................>well i just said coz i was also locked in cubboard when i was small .......while hiding from one guy who use to irritate me when i was small...thats all.....................
whats wrong if i need hug also hehe jealous bhako ho ;)hehe

 
Posted on 01-20-05 10:28 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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nivan thanks....i know most of nepali feel same while leaving home and family.....u felt same so u liked my story.
 
Posted on 01-20-05 10:52 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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hey frens have written my third sequel to it..and posting it for comments...can anyone suggest
me what u have liked so far in my writings and what u didn't...i really value ur comments..
hey hey ruina aani i was also kiddin hai..wink wink..;-).....thanks for ur appreciation...
malai tonic ko kaam garyo...I m real refreshed and tandurusta to work on with my story.

Now here is continuation of the story from the last one posted...enjoy and yeah comment:

************************************

There was a mandir near where we lived. Situated on top of a small hill, surrounded by forests, with a long staircase to get to the top, but the beauty, peace and serenity of that mandir was so much that the reward worth the hard work. I could see my school from there, see the Bishnumati flowing alongside (it wasn't that dirty those days); It was really fascinating and was one of my favorite hideouts. Hiking was one of my passions those days (still is but not to go to work with all those bandhs now a day), and instead of taking the stairs built for going up I had made my own way up through the jungle. I used to call it "adventure trekking" and would climb upwards through the bushes and the slippery route. I would fall and had scratches all over my hands and face but I was too adamant to take the main route.
I used to go there frequently when I wouldn't be playing with her. And to run away from her after such an embarrassing incident I went there whenever I was free.
It was Saturday, I think, not sure but it was holiday and I was free. With no friends I would like to hang out around, I went to my heaven on earth.
I used my usual way up, not taking the main trail.
With help of my previous practices and a little hard effort I was at top of the hill, and was proud of myself of victory over that little hill. As usual I went to the spot where I usually rest after my victory. There was a little sattal next to the mandir. A stair led to the rooftop of that sattal. I was lying over on the rooftop, tired of the climb.
She came out of nowhere, dirty as me, scratches on her hands and face. I knew at once she had been following me. I just ignored her even after she came to sit next to me.
I was there, silent, staring at the sky. She was silent too for moment just sitting next to me.
"Risayeko (angry)???" She opened conversation.
I remained silent.
"Maile k garen (what did I do)???" She asked as if she had done nothing.
I still remain adamant.
"Ma sanga zindagibhari katti ho??(Won't you ever talk with me???)" She looked sad.
"No, I am happy, ok, now shut up? And don't talk with me. And for god's sake leave me alone." I replied furiously.
All of sudden, there were tears in her eyes. I wouldn't have cared but she wasn't leaving the place, tears began flowing down her cheeks. She looked cute with those tears flowing from hazel eyes down her white cheeks. She stayed there afraid that I would leave her again.
I would have been adamant in talking to her but my heart told me to speak.
"Hatterika, kyaa royirakhchha bhane, ma risayeko chhaina k!( O my gosh, you are always crying, okay, I m not angry!!" I told her so she would stop crying.
A smile sparkled on her face. I would never forget that smile. Tears flowing down the cheek and still smiling, that face held a magical charm. But I confess I really liked her see crying. She was so cute.
And hence the spell of katti was broken. We were once again friends and she was only one who knew about my top secret hideouts.

************************************

 
Posted on 01-20-05 11:49 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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:) don know nirman sachai aba ta i am sure this is ur life story hahi???
its really sweet the way u explain things...
like u expressed abt place where u go being all dirty,scratched...
way u said abt gal....its like we are looking at her...image comes in mind as watching movie...
la la nirman good story............keep it up.
 
Posted on 01-21-05 7:36 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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I bet that guy has a special place in ur mutu ajkal:P... and i know ur feet won't be on the ground when u would find out its MEH:)..

Aren;t u the same, nepti, singani, runchi, bhunti.... but u were not scared when i was with u in the closet;)

Jealous and MEHHHHHHHHHHH?
Hell yeah:p
IndisGuise:)
 
Posted on 01-21-05 10:34 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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i bet that guy has special place in ur mutu ajkal:p...and i know ur feet won't be on ground when u would find out its meh:)
it was u!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!u kale ,tharu rakches ,badmas if u were here i would have locked u in locker for rest of the day............

special place in mutu????????????...............waaaaaaaaaaaaakeeeeeeeeeeeee upppppp!!!!!!!! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Aren;t u same,nepti,singani,runchi,bhunti.........but u were not scared when i was with u in close ;)...........>

oopsss!!!!!now that was not meh i was alone in closet...that was someone elsewas with u which u are talking about ryt now.....hehe but enjoyed scolding u...... wink wink lol.....;)
 
Posted on 01-23-05 4:39 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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hehehehe..seems like my story is taking pace now..but aabo aajhai lekhne ho bhane sarhai laamo hola jasto laagyo...soo trying to cut it down aani conclude it before everyone gets bored....give me some suggestion...novel jasto laamo jaaun ki story jastai short ma complete garaun...just post some good sugeestions..i will appreciate any suggestion...
 
Posted on 01-24-05 7:36 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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hmm u seems busy nirman....
well i am not sure abt others but i will read with
great interest.
its upto u wether u make it as novel or make short
but i am sure story will maintain its beauty.
 
Posted on 01-24-05 11:08 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Wow... very nice story.. cant wait to read whats coming up next... u got a real good way of writing... please write soon :)
 
Posted on 01-25-05 3:32 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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hey ruina...thanks for being my awesome fan...:-))...anyways..i m completing it but with soo much works at office i haven't been able to type it..my room doesn't have computer so problem is i write at my room and i have to type it here at offiice...k garnu gaun ghar ma kaam garna aayo bhane yestai hunchha....okay..i have writtten my 4th part now...here is continuation from the last posted...hope u enjoy it and post some comments...i would love to hear any comments...here is new...enjoy...

************************************

Time passed, and before I knew the final exams of class 4 was there to hit me. "Study is a compulsion to you" My mom would say. I was lean and thin at that time (still am). And My mom would continue "Ahile padhena bhane paachi bhariya bannu parla, aani tan jasto dublo lai kasle patyanuchha?? (If you don't study now, You will have to become bhariya (porter) in future, and who would believe in thin person like you??" I was scared to death to become a bhariya, So I would study just to get a better future and a good job (Now it seems bhariya would have been better option?;-)). Anyways, I had to study for exams, and I did it just thinking not to become bhariya.
Soon the exam was over and there was two months winter vacation or min pachaas, my favorite time of the year when I would be free just to do anything I want. No tensions of mom scolding for not studying, no tensions of homework, carefree as I was head of all my schedules.
Times would pass playing with her, or going alone for my "adventure trekking", finding new and harder trails through jungle to the top, or lying still in garden staring at the stars in nights, or teasing her with the scariest pranks.
Also min pachaas would mean I would have chance to go to live at my cousin's home. Going for long bicycle ride with my cousins, playing table tennis on dining tables, making new flavors of ice-creams, discovering new games of cards, playing carom board all day long, playing ludo and being angry when defeated?(I can't remember more) would be our favorite pastime.( I still miss those precious moments).
She didn't have much cousins and once she asked me if she could come to mine, but I was embarrassed enough to take her there. And, when I would go to my cousin's, She wouldn't go anywhere from home just to wait for me to be back from my cousin's place.
Two months passed as if two moments and it was again time to get back to school before I knew.
I had passed my fourth grade with the aggregate marks above average. I was satisfied, but my mom was furious because she wanted me to get at least distinction. (Which I never got in my school life, my aggregates would always be below distinctions)
I was all set to start a new class. In the school I studied, we would have more than 10 sections in each class, the advantage or maybe disadvantage was that there would be new friends to be made every year.
I usually used to get two or three old friends in my new class but this time around all faces were new to me. I had to start from zero.
The seats of class were reserved in the first come first take basis. I was last to enter my class that very first day. And all I got was that forbidden last bench without any friends around.
At Tiffin time, with not a single new friend made, I remained in the class.
I was there at the last bench, with none around to recognize me.
I hadn't noticed him before. I think (don't remember exactly) he was sitting in the third row and reading something colorful.
Curious, I wanted to make friend with him immediately, but was reluctant to initiate. Instead I choose to pass by him so he would rather speak with me. I slowly passed in-front of him. But he was rather busy with his colorful book (which was first comic strip I ever saw). I was now too much impatient to start conversation.
"Hi" I played my shot.
"Hey" he replied.
"timro naam k ho??(what is your name??)", I asked.
"Call me Pee. anni tmro ni??(And yours)" He replied.
"Nirman." I gave my introduction.
"Can I see that??" I asked, curious to see that comics.
"Sure" He was ready to share his book with me.
"Thanks" I started seeing my first comic strip ever.
I don't remember it was Naagraaj comics or Super Commando Dhruva comics but that day a new friendship started, which would be one of my first long term and intimate friendship. (We still remain very good friends till date.)

************************************

 
Posted on 01-26-05 2:00 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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here is another part...continued from before...

************************************

I was returning back home alone from school that day.
"Hey" Someone called me from back.
I turned to see.
"Sandhai yehi baato jaane ho?? (Do you always take this route??)" There he was, Pee, asking me.
"Yeah" I replied.
"Ma pani (Me too)" He added.
I was very much happy to get companion while returning home. It was long was and a companionship would be advantage. His home was at about 15 minutes distance from where I lived.
"aagiko comics kaati parchha??(How much does your comic cost??)" I asked, keen to own my one.
"11 rupees" He replied
"11 rupees", I thought, with not much pocket allowances, something costing that much was faraway dream for me.
"Hey, if you want to see mine then you can take this home today, and return it to me tomorrow." He lent his comics to me.
I was happy to take that comic strip to my home, but at the same time I was too much eager to buy one of my own.
Back home, I was sitting alone in the garden, just sitting and thinking about the way to buy that comic beside me.
"Khelne ho?? (Wanna play??)", I hadn't noticed her coming near me.
"Nope" I replied.
"Why??" She wanted reasons.
"Simple, I don't want to." I said irritatingly with my gawky voice so she would go away.
"K bhayo?? (What happened??)" She wouldn't go away.
"Nothing" I didn't want to share.
"Tmi pani comic padhchhau?? (You also read comics??)"She saw the comic beside me.
Here was another one who knew about comics before I did.
"Yeah" I said bluntly.
"My dad also owns some." She told me.
"Really!!!" I exclaimed in disbelief "Malai dekhau na?(Show that to me?)" I added.
"Daddy le pitnu hunchha (Daddy will beat me)"She was scared of her dad.
I was sad that I won't be able to see another one. I didn't speak a word.
She stayed there alongside with me silent, without saying a word. We were there just silent for about half an hour.
She just stood, and went to her room. After some moments, she came back with two or maybe three (My memory is weak) comics. She hurried towards me.
"Kasailai nadekhaunu hai (Don't show it to anyone.)" She was afraid but she didn't care even if her father would beat her.
I sat pleased, with my smiling face. She smiled too.
I was touched, touched deep inside my heart.

************************************

 
Posted on 01-27-05 12:15 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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No comments...I think I should stop posting to...;-)...post something from ur side too people...mero matar post le jammai jana dikka bhaye jasto chha...anyways keep posting...
 
Posted on 01-27-05 2:33 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Humm..sounds very interesting..........when will the next part be released?? Nirman would write soon i guess!!!
 
Posted on 01-27-05 11:47 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Applause. Nice work.
Interesting to see that story in words (have heard that before). Use lesser dialogues and be more descriptive. Would like to see your feelings and also your idea of what she felt. This story made me remember those yesteryears. Miss those days. And Nepal!!
Eagerly waiting for the next episode.
 
Posted on 01-27-05 2:30 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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I had been missing all those star plus serials but not anymore, good job. Whenever I read your story I remember all my past event which I never thought of or I really didn?t care about. It is so sweet of u to recall it and write it. When r u going to write your next episode? Waiting for it.
 
Posted on 01-27-05 2:57 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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A very different and refreshing, unlike anything that u can term as "typical sajha story." My feeling are in the line of Nivafren, jasmeen, ardent, perhaps a lil different, if i may (Add).

It is very much like a zee, star plus and likes of those from back home. Like " Just Mohabbat" LOL. Darn... i never even thought about these stuff for AGES now.. keep on writing. A lil imaginary, nevertheless an innocent story. :)...A less complicated story in our very complicated world. :)

Waiting for more,
Indisguise:)
 
Posted on 01-27-05 7:37 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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nirman u definetly hab a extremly good writing skills...... well ur story sorta refreshes my past memories which i have been locked it up in my small conner of my heart.... keep up writing i m eager to read the next part.........:):)
 



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