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jhaukiri
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 River and the Book..
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Posted on 03-21-12 10:14 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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 River flows...
like the words in a book..

when expectation waits in the horizon
existence appears
like the stone of the  river....
and the words in  the book.

 

Unleashed heading makes the sound of droplets..

with the ruthless beginning ..

"Story" ....that mingled with
grief..
love...

and slept with betray....

washes thought and vision

and the destiny
undetermined...

 

Thrust crushes the crawling liquid,

pleading for tears ..the RED tears..

 what if words have thornes....

.... and stone smell a Rose!!

 

"The way" most of the portion engulfed.....

entered in the  purity.
faces the tragedy..
-departure of the two banks.

-  residue of left stories.

"STORY"... of sorrows..

and the story  of ..touching...fingers...!!!

 

Rivers, like the BOOK...

-overcomes the matter ...

-occupies the space...

-has the weight...

-displaces the upthrust....

-dis balances the state..

and verifies the soul..
the soul of waves..

that had stood infront of palm trees...
the silent sands...

and kneed in front of holding hands...!!!

 

 

I wonder ..why(??), rivers write a book..

for its wide existence ...

dissolving character....

thorny stories...

....and falling leaves....!!!!!!

 
Last edited: 21-Mar-12 09:26 PM

 
Posted on 03-21-12 10:49 AM     [Snapshot: 19]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Amazing analogies...

The flow in your writing ..like the water in a tranquil river...like narration from your favorite book.....is really smooth. Keep up the good work!!

PS: If you re-edit the lines and remove few typos (thrones - thorns...throny - thorny), the readers' eyes won't be distracted. Thanks again..
Last edited: 21-Mar-12 10:55 AM

 
Posted on 03-21-12 11:31 AM     [Snapshot: 48]     Reply [Subscribe]
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 As NKC said: Amazing analogies.

Jhaukiri:
I have been following all of ur poems from the beginning. I am not a good reviewer. But, what I can see from writings is that you have improved a lot from the very first poem you posted on sajha. Keep on writing. 

Suggestion: 
Please use proper line break instead of ........ 

 
Posted on 03-21-12 2:52 PM     [Snapshot: 110]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Posted on 03-21-12 9:27 PM     [Snapshot: 182]     Reply [Subscribe]
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 DhanyaBaad ...sathi haru..
!!
 


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